What is it that we’re all really searching for in an argument? Is it just to see who’s right and who’s wrong? What if you’re right, but you being right is at the expense of you tearing me down to prove your point. Did you really win?
We’ll spend the rest of the night no longer arguing on who’s wrong or right, but on the point that someone’s feelings were hurt and now we must address that topic. We’ll keep bouncing around like a pinball from happiness, to arguing, to someone trying to cater to the other since they realize they were “wrong”, back to happiness or arguing. It’s a cycle that can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions.
What’s wrong or right when my intentions were good, but my actions just didn’t align with that? What if I intended to do great by you, but I slipped and did wrong? Am I punished for the one time I fell or celebrated for the 99 times I stood tall? If you forgive me now can you get mad at me later for the same situation? How do we move past it, how do we grow to create a “mastermind” again?
What if I told you we aren’t searching for who’s right or wrong but for understanding. Understanding of who we are, understanding of our importance, understanding of our influence.
Once we find that then all wounds are transitioned into a healing process. We can now begin to work our way back into being one again.
The importance of Malcolm and Marie was Understanding. When Malcolm finally admitted to Marie that she was the inspiration of his film verbally without any buts is when she finally was satisfied with the whole argument. She may have run in circles to get to that point, but she wanted understanding, not pity or leftover satisfaction.