I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ANY MUSIC
I find myself at times being lost in the memories of where I was often.
It’s not like I was rich in the time period or anything, I just miss the feeling I felt. I miss it as if I feel I could never get it again, or even if I can not from the “right” person… How do I create that “right” person though? Is she just a creation of all the things I liked in prior relationships? Maybe, someone, I saw in a movie and romanticized? They say when you meet that right person it’s a feeling and you just know, but there has to be a training course to feel the feeling or something because I think I feel it whenever I engage my emotions into someone. But, I’m always wrong…
I was recently at the bank to set up an account, and while the process was going along I made conversation with the bank teller. I told him how I was in band before and he shared he too was in band at a point in time. He went on to tell me how great he was at the instrument he played and how he no longer played. He shared how he ran into his old band director and he was a bit filled with shame because in his current life he no longer played the instrument he was once known for being so great at playing. He felt his band director would be sad with him since he no longer played, almost as if he had let him down which in the end made him feel as if he let himself down. I could see the defeat on his face no matter how many years he was removed from the situation, it still haunted him…
One thing I recently learned is to never regret anything you’ve done. I mean I’ve always known that, but to the depths I understand the concept now is new enlightenment. Regret forces you to stay in a mindstate of where you were in whatever time it was you regret. You assume everyone’s idea of you and that thought sends you in a frenzy to figure out what you could’ve done better. You’re stuck. You can’t see anything past where you were then and that is harmful to you. Many times we’ve grown into greater people who make wiser decisions from the reflections of our past, but that reflection shouldn’t haunt you for who you are.
Acceptance is the end goal. Accept that you are where you should be even with the mistakes you’ve made along the journey. Those mistakes are what make your road worth taking, without those lessons you wouldn’t be where you are. Even if you still don’t like where you are, what can you do about it? You can make a change in the now. Don’t focus on the past or the future, make sure you make the best decisions in the now and trust that choice will grow you into who you want to be. “The present that’s a gift, that’s why we call it a present.”